Getting Back Into the game

With all of my goals I have lost sight of what is important in my life.  I know this sounds like I am about to go all deep and start to show you all that I am a deeper and more thoughtful person, but no, the real reason I started this project is because I love video games.  This is a total shocker right?  Well it shouldn't be.  I have always loved games and the goals I set for myself makes it seem a little less for the love of the game and a little more for the love of my self promotion.  I want to apologize for looking at this community as a group of numbers rather than as a community.

That stops today!!!!!  I will not be sharing my weekly stats any more, I will not be pushing for people to follow or support me in any way, but I will be bringing straight content for the sake of content.   I recently have been given an opportunity to rediscover one of my favorite games through group content and have been having a blast doing so.  Oh man, I cannot tell you all enough how wonderful it has been to play these games and not feel alone in what I am doing.

If you want to check out our group playing these amazing games together head on over to twitch.tv/jpalm316 on Wednesday night at 8:00 pm mst.  We have been having a blast and my buddy John has been doing a great job putting together some amazing content for you all.

If you are bored on a Saturday morning or a Sunday afternoon swing on over to my channel at twitch.tv/wylesco for some fun laid back gaming.  We have been having a lot of fun working through the main story of Elder Scrolls Online as well as a few off streams of Stardew Valley.

I have been having a wonderful time learning more about myself and the gaming industry as a whole and look forward to many more opportunities as I progress through this great journey.  I have really enjoyed seeing how much I have grown these last few weeks and cannot wait to see where I go to in the future.

Day 32: Feelings, all we have are Feelings!!!!!

This is going to be a strange post.  I try not to do this but sometimes when you are so busy trying to put yourself out there, change your stars, or just overall work towards a better tomorrow you get caught up in all of your short comings.  I have been going down a rabbit hole of self doubt and battling the feelings of failure as they happen.  Today I was feeling that my head was above water finally when my wife hit me with the ten ton hammer of her own feelings of self doubt.  Oh boy what a crazy jerk those judgmental feelings can be, if you don't fend them off they have a way of coming in and wrecking all that is good in your life.  As we were talking I told my wife that what I do when the world is crashing down on me is mentally vomit all over a page through my writing.  I was honest in what I told her as that is what I normally do, though this last week I haven't been able to do so.  I feel that I have been too busy judging myself to put down some truth bombs on paper.  So here we go I am about to drop some truth bombs on this page.

The failures of January.

• I promised myself that I would write one post a day just to keep my head on straight, already I have failed that task.  Hopefully February is a little better.
• I promised myself that I was going to grind for 4 more followers on twitch and though I have had a lot of fun streaming I have gained a big whopping zero on the follower front.
• Twitter has told me that I am on an upward trend but every day I log on and see that more people have left my page, I'm silently judging myself on the fact that I don't have tough enough skin to just let it slide.
• social media is freaking hard.  I hate it but I love it at the same time
• I missed a week of streaming when I probably could have done it just fine.  

The successes of January.

(I like to end my mental vomit on a sweet note so that the acidity doesn't smell too bad.)

• I have stopped making excuses and have finally started to put myself out there.
• I have experienced an amazing uptick in creativity and am constantly looking for ways to improve myself
• I have met some amazing people on this journey so far and I look forward to meeting many more along the way.

Sometimes we are our own worst judges.  We take so much time telling ourselves that we are not good enough that we start to believe it.  If I had one wish it would be that everyone realizes that they are worthwhile and not a failure.  No matter the circumstances there is always something going right in our lives.