Controversy.... or Outside the Box Thinking?

 Today when I got into work for my day job I had something brought to my attention immediately.  I guess some background information is in order for you all so here is a bit for you.

I work for a special education program attached to a local high school.  The program that I work in specializes in helping teenagers and young adults on the autism spectrum fit into society and be as successful as they can be.  For the most part I like my job.

Background aside I came in today to find that one of my clients had sent in a maintenance request to the district to fix a toilet that was broken.  I had to promise to talk to this client and their family about proper channels and how if they see something that needs fixing to report it to one of their teachers.  For a second I was in fix it mode where I felt the need to fix the situation and make sure that it never happens again, but the more I think about it the more I am proud of this client.  They saw a situation that needed to be made better, took the time to email a person who could make the situation better, and they got results. Maintenance got to the site and fixed the problem over night and everything is working again.  I feel that they probably felt that they were going through the proper channels and nothing was getting done or getting better.  I love that they took it upon themself to get results in a world that is stacked against getting results.

Perhaps this is why we as a society are getting so fed up.  We have bought into this system of believing that if we run things up the correct channels that eventually they will be taken care of.  Maybe what we really need to make change is to actually find those that have the power to make the change that we want and talk to them directly.  I believe that we could all learn a bit from this client of mine on how to make lasting change. I feel that people on the autism spectrum have an innate ability to see solutions that us with "normal functioning" brains cannot see and that they are an amazing group of people that can make lasting change in the world. I think that we all need to channel our inner Greta and make a change for climate, or our inner nameless client and make our situation around us better.  We are more powerful than we give ourselves credit for and with this great power we can actually make true and lasting changes. 

Way to go client!!!! You made life for everyone better because you did not have time to wait for proper channels to be used. I applaud your individualism and stick it to the man attitude.   

Anxiety!

 In the Full House reboot there is a character that yells "Anxiety!" whenever he feels life spinning out of control.  Today I feel that way.  I feel that the world is closing in on me and I have no way to handle the pressures.  Music is only doing so much, looking into different aspects of pop culture is not giving me the joy that it is giving me, and I feel very frustrated with society at large. 

One of the joys of having a mind riddled by anxiety right now is that I am having some amazing dreams.  Last night I had a doozy of a dream that I would like to share with you all and hopefully you enjoy it as much as I did.

The dream begins with me as a contestant in some sort of "Got Talent" type of competition.  I am not myself.  I am a young man with a disability, my subconscious mind labeled it MS but I didn't move as if I was afflicted by that disease.  For some reason I had shaved my head and drawn a face to the back of my head, put on all of my clothes backwards, and walked out to the center of the stage.  I took my position, lowered my head and waited for the music to start. A strong bass line struck followed by a fun snare program and I started to dance, the song was "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley and I danced and sang what was on my mind.  It felt liberating as I moved, my back always facing the audience but still able to see their reactions from the mirror that was in front of me.  I rocked it.  It was a great feeling.  As the last note struck I turned around to take my bow and was greeted by silence. Nobody was reacting the way that I had thought I saw them react in the mirror during my performance.  I was greeted by a single person in the middle of the crowd clapping slowly.  I was hoping it would be like the movies but nobody else joined in and I left the stage dejected and heart broken. 

The very next scene placed me as the host of the talent show.  I was dumbstruck to see nobody cheering on what was an amazing performance.  I was so mad that the audience would not give this young man with a disability any of the accolades they were giving the able bodied contestants.  I took the stage and berated them for their lack of empathy, their lack of attention, and their rudeness. I said everything that I have been feeling about society today as it surfaced at that moment.  I finished with a reprimand on how they were too busy staring at their phones to see true talent in front of them. I stormed off the stage to find the young man.

The dream then jumped to the last scene. I was myself once more getting a hot beverage in my childhood houses basement (dreams are strange) and I was talking to one of my current coworkers.  I looked her in the eye and lamented that I was done trying to share talent with a world that didn't care. I confided that we were stuck in a show that was just as divisive as any social media platform and that I was leaving the show because I couldn't be a part of it. At this point I woke up to "Crazy" playing in my mind over and over again.

I am not sure what this dream means.  I can only guess that I am feeling a burn out at work, that I feel that my creative ventures are going nowhere, but I feel that I am still making worthy content.  No matter the hidden meaning of this dream I feel that this dream spoke to me and put to images what my mind and body have been feeling for a very long time. We as a society need to be better. 

Beginning The Music Business

 I am doing it!

I am doing something that I never thought would happen!

I am pushing myself to be the best that I can be in a creative venture.  I have the goals of working on producing and recording EDM music.  I want to write lyrics, produce music, and overall increase my reach on this crazy little thing called the internet. I know that this is a strange goal, especially for a 30 something year old who has never really stuck to anything.  I am finally working on some stuff that feels like it is a niche that I want to fill.  That being said this blog will become a dumping ground for poetry, album reviews, bits of music that I am working on/thinking about, and a look at my journey as I work towards this stupid dream.  So here we go, I want to share my goals with you all.  

Year One:

At the end of year one I will have 10 tracks available to stream on Soundcloud. I will have mastered my DAW (Digital Audio Workstation), and I will have 10 followers on my SoundCloud.

Year Five:

I will have the ability to stream my songs on Spotify, apple music, and other sources.  I will have mastered the ukulele, learned the basics of DJing, and set myself up for a lasting success. 200 followers on Soundcloud.

Year Ten:

By the end of year ten I will have had at least one paid show under my belt, Have at least one track circulating by a major record label, Be making at least 5,000 a month in royalties, and have 1,000 followers on Soundcloud

Year 25:

After 25 years I will have retired from making music.  Be making around 10,000 per month in royalties from people still playing my music or sampling my creations, Run a successful music blog where I highlight what is coming out on the music scene.

This is the roadmap of my career.  I know that some of these goals are lofty but I do feel that I will be able to do anything here that I set my mind to.  I will be working hard over the next week trying to learn and master some of my songs.  

Keep an eye out here for some looks at songs and beats that I feel are influential to myself and that we want to share with the world.